• JSN

The Silence | 8/28/2021

Hey, its been a while. I want to say I'm being really productive with art but I recently have had no desire to draw digitally. I've still been drawing frequently because I have an idea in my head that I want to create and that I am always thinking about. I've been considering going back to school. I went to a local art college for a year back in 2018 but because of my lack of maturity and other reasons, I ended up failing out. I don't usually like to talk about these things because its really shameful for me, but I think it's about time i admit my mistakes. This is because I actually intend to go back to school. Not the same one though. I'm going to study at a local tech school in the field I'm interested in and transfer from there. I have been thinking about it a lot recently and I'm still very scared to go to college because of how my mental state was the last time I was in college, but I have also hit a rut in my life that I want to escape. I need to grow up and learn more about the field I'm going to call my job one day.

I still owe money to my student loan company, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to attend college while I'm paying that off. I also want to learn to drive, get a better job, and improve my art to a degree that I find presentable. I need to develop an even better portfolio than the one I have on this website, and I want to work on it more and more to prove to myself that I'm not stagnating, and that I can achieve my goals.

This is sort of a rambling mess bc I'm sleepy, but the tl; dr is that I want to go back to school to learn more and develop a stricter sense of discipline. I have a really big project in the works coming soon and I want to test myself to see if I can actually commit to a long term project, but with the way I am now I'd probably fail before I even step through the first gate.

Anyways that's it for the ramble, thanks for reading guys :D


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