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My Hiatus

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like this entire time i was hunched over my desk grinding my art for hours a day. If I'm being perfectly honest, I have been very lax in my studies as far as art goes basically all of September and October. It's not like I was doing absolutely zero art, I'd doodle here and there, but for the most part I wasn't focused on improving.\


If I could say I related to any single anime character right now, It'd be Usopp from One Piece. Anyone whose seen One Piece will understand the kind of person Usopp is. In this era of digital marketing and entrepreneurialism, I am a newbie who is still testing the waters for the most part. To continue the comparison for those that don't really get Usopp's character, Usopp is a liar. He lies because he wants people to like him, so he tells grand tales that didn't happen and he has a big ego to hide his insecurities.


I'd say I'm a pretty conceited person right now. I don't want to use the term confident or prideful because as much as I like to idealize my art, Deep down I understand I'm not yet at a level where I can be truly proud of my work. I was at work yesterday thinking about my current perceptions of myself, my reality, and my goals, aspirations, and where I am and I decided that I'm not who I truly wish to be.


Usopp's main goal in One Piece is to be able to live his life as a man who is proud to be who he is. Specifically he wants to be a brave warrior of the sea. I can relate to this, I want to be a brave warrior of the sea as well: This sea, this digital sea of content and entertainment that has fueled the careers of artists that I both know and don't know, and that has both inspired and took inspiration from.


This internal dialogue I took while I was mindlessly arranging boxes on shelves at my current place of employment, made me realize that I have been too lax in my efforts. I've been lazy and complacent. I've been making excuses and getting distracted. And it's also made me realize that this is harder than I originally thought.


My current goal is to make an industry portfolio, get a job working as a vis-dev artist or a concept artist, or most hopefully, as an animator or comic artist. I'm sure there are many things I can learn from dipping my toes into each facet of art. and that's why I want to do this. I want to be a man who owns his own house, his own car, and can support a family off of his art, and when I look at the art that pays my bills, I want to be able to see my improvement as a person and as an artist.


I'm 22 now, when I was a kid this is when I decided that adults become actual adults. Most people say it's 25, but in my opinion, 22 is where it starts. I know I can't plan what happens in the future, but I also know that if I wait any longer to push into the industries I desire, if I ever want to make a best selling comic book, if I ever want to get a story of mine animated, I need to start now.


Throughout all of November, I've went inactive. I deleted my profile picture and banner, and I moved to a private alt account where I only follow the artists that I look up to most. Believe me if I could hide the trending tab on twitter, I would. The reason I did this is because twitter is a place where I find myself easily distracted. it's so easy too, I visit twitter so frequently that all I have to do is hit "t" in the address bar and hit enter and I'm on twitter. I don't know if I'm gonna un-inactive my account. I may because I follow Robaato on twitter on that account and it doesn't seem like he'll allow any follows for another while, but I follow too many people on that account. There's always something new to see and for someone who needs to focus as much as I do I don't have time for rabbit hole distractions.


I recently bought some pens, stencils, and a sketchbook so I could do drawabox. It's a free online course for artists to learn or relearn the core fundamentals of art according to Uncomfortable, the guy who invented drawabox. Alongside this, I've been trying to get back into the groove of drawing consistently again. Today while at work I drew on receipt paper again with a pen. (ramble: drawing with a pen is a good way to build confidence when learning to draw) and then on my breaks, I'd bust out my sketchbook and try to draw a character as fast as possible.


This is an improvement, however it's not enough for me. I'm going to start drawing more digitally as well, as I have been avoiding it, but I'm also going to expand more into uncomfortable territories that I'm not experienced in, in an effort to become a more well-rounded artist. I cannot draw landscapes yet. I cannot draw animals yet. I cannot draw vehicles yet. I currently cannot create characters and put them in a space that feels like it could exist in another dimension.


My plans to combat these shortcomings are as follows. I will continue drawabox. I have been thoroughly informed that it is a rigorous and difficult course to work through, but I feel like it is a personal challenge that will tell me whether or not I have the heart to pursue this. Secondly, I'm going to start streaming my digital art on my twitch. I've streamed art in the past and although I do it infrequently it is pretty fun for me personally. Third, I'm going to make a webcomic to test the waters. This isn't one of the stories I really want to tell, it's gonna be a fun story adapted from a game I'm currently playing. It's not ready yet, because I have to beat the game first, but be on the lookout. In the meantime I will draw more frequently and provide more updates for my art journey. And lastly, I will start looking towards what makes me happy in real life. I would probably add 10 minutes to the read time explaining everything that makes me happy, but I can't be bothered to do that. I've been having fun revisiting old games I liked, skateboarding at the park, listening to music, and indulging in nostalgia.


You'd be surprised how happy you can be if you stepped away from the things in life that weren't really making you happy. I'm not talking about superficial things like status, or the feeling of satisfaction you get when scrolling through funny videos on TikTok. I mean things that directly make you happy. Things that remind you of a simpler time. Going outside and just enjoying the fact that you're alive right now. These are the things that make me happy personally. And I think I make my best work when I'm happy.


One last thing, I'm gonna overhaul the website again soon, and it'll look even better. I have a lot of ideas I want to put in, and I want to make it easy for both professionals and consumers to find and support me during this journey to be a great artist. And if you want to talk to me or anything send me a DM on twitter or instagram. I would love some friends who are as hungry as I am and want to support each other. all my updated links are at solo.to/jsn.


Anyway that's all for the update. It's 12:19 am right now. I'm probably gonna listen to some music and doodle a bit, then go to sleep. I'll update my website when I finally have the plans ready. My job actually leaves me with a lot of free time. So I'm gonna work on ways to improve and monetize my art. Thanks for listening




(this is a fanmade version, but i like the extended intro a lot)


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